Sunday, September 13, 2009

Homework Post - Mon 9/14/09

Read the sample essays by students #1, 2 and 3. According to the scoring rubric, what grade would you give each one, and why? The why part is crucial. What is your rationale for assigning each grade?

21 comments:

  1. Student Essay #1: 4. The student addresses the past issue and states how it contributes to the character's current actions, but does not support it well (too much summarizing, not enough connections).

    Student Essay #2: 8. The student immediately begins with a strong thesis and demonstrates a clear understanding of the work. The essay is filled with textual support and the vocabulary is phenomenal.

    Student Essay #3: 6. The student starts with a thesis that completely covers the prompt, and follows with a well-organized essay. The student clearly understands the work, but did not use any textual support to back up his/her ideas.

    Sarah Rein. :)

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  2. Essay 1:This student doesn't get the message across very clearly. I felt like it was summarizing the story instead of using brief textual support.
    My Score:5

    Essay 2:This student looks more like planning was involved in the process of writing the essay. They clearly stated a thesis and they delved into how it applied to the prompt. It doesn't summarize the story, but instead uses very appropriate evidence from the text.
    My Score:9

    Essay 3:This student gives decent analysis but does not cite any quotes or specific, detailed references to the story.However I think the thesis and overall connection with what the prompt asks is reasonably good.
    My Score:6


    Meghan Corson

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  3. Essay 1: Score of 5
    The following essay does not draw a thesis from the theme of the novel until the end of the essay, which ultimately causes the paper to be unorganized and resemble a plot summary.

    Essay 2: Score of 9
    The student uses exceptional analysis as well as textual support, thus demonstrating significant insight of the text. The writer is clearly focused, justifying their thesis and using sophisticated language, in order to do so.

    Essay 3: Score of a 6
    The essay provides a thesis that answers the limitations of the prompt, however the writer fails to use sophisticated language and the analysis is unthorough. It seems as though the paper grazes over the question, considering the lack of textual support, but still makes his/her point known.

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  4. Essay 1
    The student immediately begins with summarizing the story, and summarizing = death. The thesis isn't correctly placed and little textual support is used.
    Score: 4 or 5

    Essay 2
    The student uses a rather colorful vocabulary and evidently understands the prompt. The thesis is clear, and important statements are nicely supported with direct and indirect quotes.
    Score: 8

    Essay 3
    The student's thesis doesn't cover all points of the prompt, and again the plot is summarized throughout the essay. Some points are supported, but additional support would improve the score. Also, the last sentence has little significance to the rest of the essay and almost throws off the swing of things.
    Score: 5

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  5. I feel essay one deserved a 5 because it didnt provide the clear thesis of the book. It mostly just summarized what was going on.

    Essay two deserved a 8 because eveything was supported and clearly explained throughout the whole essay. Also it was more than a summary of the book.

    Last essay three desrved at least a 6 because even though the thesis statement was provided it didnt explain much. The writer didnt show enough support about what he/she was writing about.

    Posted by Jennifer<3

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  6. Essay #1- Score:4

    The student provided a plot summary instead of answering the question directly (regarding the past). It simply states themes but does not connect them to the overarching idea of the Great Gatsby and how it relates to the essay at hand.

    Essay #2- Score: 9
    The student writing this essay certainly deserved high points. This was due to the ability to stay focused to the topic regarding the past and having a brilliant control of the English language (high level vocabulary, syntax, etc.). It eloquently provides a thesis that is interpreted throughout the whole piece.

    Essay #3- Score:6
    This student's essay provides an adequate analysis of the essay topic. It seemed as though the student began to try to write a plot summary, but then stopped themselves before it developed into a thorough recap. Therefore, the student's point is there, but it could certainly be expanded. The word choice could be stronger and textual support is not present within the essay.

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  7. Essay 1: I give it a 5, because although it isn't too in depth, the student did mention several ways in which Gatsby's relationship with the past affected his life, and it explains how Gatsby's failed attempts to contend with the past (by acquiring immense wealth) were ultimately futile, supporting the main theme of the book ("money can't buy happiness").

    Essay 2: A 9, because of in-depth analysis, citing several quotes and even explaining how the past plays a role in both the main character's life and in the symbolism of the fall of the Old South. The student also has a high-level vocabulary, repeated connections to the work as a whole, and great organization.

    Essay 3: Score 3, because although the student did make references to the way the past affected the main character's life, there is little to no connection to the work as a whole, other than the protagonist's personal character. Also, the essay relies much on summarization, and the student imposed their own views on their analysis. ("Willy was completely at fault for his downfall...")

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  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. Sample 1: This is a plot summary. S/he barely connects the character's relationship with the past to the theme as a whole and, thus they inadequately answer the question. However, an answer is an answer. Additionally, the diction is rather simple, make the synopsis rather disappointing. Basically, they didn't answer the question with much support, but they did understand the book. This doesn't get the Mele-Mel stamp of approval, in fact it gets a...

    4!

    Sample 2: Pretty legit. The word choice is good. S/he adequately discussed the motifs and themes from the book displaying a decent understanding of the book as a whole. The writer makes an admirable attempt to tie the past into the theme(s) of the book. Although they do adequately answer the question, the analysis wasn't thorough/explictit enough for an 8. However, the due to the erudite diction and syntax, had this analysis been there it would've been a 9. Unfortunately, it wasn't, so although it gets the Mele-Mel stamp of approval it ends up with a score of....

    7!

    Sample 3:This is a better summary than essay 1. The author obviously has a grasp on the overall concepts of the book, however, they do not connect effectively display what the "past" is (I'm left to assume they meant his infidelity being discovered, which seemed to happen earlier). Not only is their assumption of what the past is questionable, but it is not supported by any details. Regardless, the author links the infidelity to the protagonist's downfall, but not to the overall theme of the book. Therefore, the question was not adequately answered. Thus, this does not get the Mele-Mel stamp of approval, instead, I scored it as a....

    3!

    **Of course, I could be completely off about all these, but this whole process (for inexperienced graders) is largely subjective anyways.

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  10. Btw, I feel like a jerk after reading all of you all's. :(

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  11. Essay #1
    I felt that this student just summarized the story. "So What". They address the past and show how it affects the character's actions but does not give enough texual support or quotes, refering back to the story.
    Score:6

    Essay #2
    This student begins their essay off with a summary of the story. "So What". I kind of got a little lost in the introduction of the essay, but as I continued to read, I noticed that this student gave good texual support from the story and examples.
    Score:7

    Essay #3
    This student did not respond to the assigned task very well. They could have better explained the character's relationship to the past and their actions, attitudes, or values.
    Score:5

    ~Camile Hall~

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  12. Essay #1:
    This essay scores a 4, because the student did not relate to the overall theme. The thesis is unclear, and at times, this essay does not make sense.

    Essay #2:
    This student scores a 9. The essay contains an academic vocabulary and diction. This student provides ample examples, as well as quotes from the novel. The essay has a clear thesis and relates well to the overall theme.

    Essay #3:
    This essay is a three because it appears to be a summary of theh book. The student poorly related to the overall theme, although it does have a thesis. This essay is rather elementary at times with its lower level diction.

    -Lindsay Vason

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  13. Student Essay #1:
    Score - 5

    Summarization equals death. The student definitely knows the story of "The Great Gatsby" and understands the meaning behind the main character's actions. Yet, the student never really shows any deep analysis of Gatsby's past events and fails to connect it in any real way to the work as a whole. He/she states the novel's theme and state's Gatsby's actions which contribute to the novel's theme, but he/she never explores how Gatsby's relationship to the past defines the theme.

    Student Essay #2
    Score - 9

    This student clearly knows how to focus his/her ideas and answer the prompt accurately. This student goes through the Character's past without really summarizing the book. He/she does well in explaining how the character's past influences his decisions and troubles his mind. Furthermore, the student accurately related the character's past to the overall life/death theme of the book by using well-supported analysis and symbolism.

    Student Essay #3:
    Score: 3

    This was basically a summary of the book. While there were some visible attempts to connect Willy's past to the theme of the book, it leaves it completely up to the reader to make those connections. One can barely see why the character chooses to act the way he does, but the student fails to analyze the actions in any way, thus earning a low score.

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  14. Essay 1 : 4 or less
    The writer did not even answer the question, and also because I am evil.
    Summary = Death

    Essay 2: 5
    Good Introduction, but it in a way it's a broad intro.
    It had to common speech; never really confronted the question. But made an effort at the theme of the past affecting the characters.

    Essay 3: 4 or less
    It has a thesis but they lacked on the fallow through.

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  15. student Essay #1
    score :: 4

    The writer clearly knows the novel very well, but the essay is poorly written because it never clearly answers the prompt. The writer has relied to much on plot summary, and like Ms. Hurst always says, "summarizing is death!!!!" There is poor analysis and no support.

    Student Essay #2
    score :: 8

    Strong vocabulary usage and great support. The thesis is clear and well supported and it is clear that the writer understood the prompt. The analysis was well- focused; however, some of the support is not well connected which prevented a score of a 9

    Student Essay #3
    score :: 5

    There is a lack of connection to the work as a whole and too much personal insight. Begins to summarize at several points; however, there were clear attempts to connect support. Analysis needs much work.

    Keturah

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  16. Essay #1
    The student seemed to summarized the story and didn't really answer what the prompt was asking. Maybe the student intended to answer how the character's past affects his relationship on the past, but it didn't have support at all. It needed quotes from the text and maybe use better vocabulary to make a strong essay. Score: 5

    Essay #2
    Again, it seemed like the student summarized the book, but then the essay started to have support. Impressive vocab, answered the prompt and had support from the text.
    Score: 8&9

    Essay #3
    Although i believe this essay could've been better if details were included, it explained a little bit how the past relates to the character's values, actions, attitudes, etc. The student had the idea but didn't explain it, also quotes could've helped.
    Score: 6

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  17. Student Essay #1
    Score: 5
    Why: This essay did respond to the question the prompt, and the student included the three steps (what the event was, how the character’s actions/attitudes/values are related to this event, and what this event contributes to the work as a whole), but it was very broad with no quotes or textual support.

    SUMMARY = DEATH!

    Also the first paragraph did not have enough punctuation, just the occasional period and apostrophe but absolutely no comma’s where they were need. (To be completely honest this drove me a little crazy).


    Student Essay #2
    Score: 3
    Why: This essay did have many positive aspects; there was eloquent vocabulary, ample textual support with a few quotes, and a well thought out analysis. The problem, however, is that this essay did not address this prompt at all. It analyzed some elements of setting and gave examples of symbolism throughout the book but it did not give an example of a past event, explain how it relates to the characters actions or beliefs, or relate it to the book as a whole. This student seems to have missed the prompt completely.


    Student Essay #3
    Score: 3
    Why: This essay seemed to be starting off on the right track, outlining a mistake that changed the main character’s life, but then the student seemed to have forgotten the prompt altogether and the rest of the essay was a summary of Willy’s demise, never relating it to an overall theme of the play.


    Wow, I'm a really tough grader! After looking through everyone's scores I made myself re-read Essay 2 but I'm sticking to my guns and I think I scored it well.


    >>~~Katie~>

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  18. Student Essays
    1
    Score->7 This essay answeres the question the prompt, and had the 3 parts needed to effectively answer the question, but it was quite vague and general with no textual support.
    2
    Score->6 The student had adequate use of vocabulary, textual support, and an organized attempt at analysis. The essay is quite shy of impressive so its not in the 7,8,9 range but the student did make an effort to analyze the question and what it was asking.
    3
    Score->4 This student did what I must confess I have done and started off strong making a good point but then by not planning it out ended up trailing off into no man's land, making no real analysis and just writing to take up space.

    _Diana_

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  19. Essay #1 would receive a grade number of 5.

    I would score this essay a 5 because the person summarized the entire plot. The beginning started off great with an event that happened in the past. It begin to tell almost the whole story.

    Essay #2 would receive a grade number of a 7.

    This person used great examples throughout their writing of the past and how it affects the character. There were few spelling errors and a jumble of vocabulary words in the beginning.

    Essay #3 would receive a 6.

    I didnt see many spelling errors but I believe this person had a good analysis of the story althogh he summarized in some parts.

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  20. Student Essay #1: 4
    The essay written by this student does not produce an in-depth thesis. The student's take on the novel is more of a cause and effect explanation rather than an analyical understanding of the work. The writer also fails to use strong textual support and instead summarizes the plot. The vocabulary used is not mature, thus creating a an unsophisticated tone throughout the essay.
    Student Essay #2: 8
    The student clearly notes his major thesis in the beginning of the essay. Once he states his major argument, the student supports it with specific textual support and creates an in-depth analysis regarding the theme of the novel; they go as far as connecting the theme of the novel to the past. The student also mentions motifs to support major themes from the novel. The student's vocabulary is strong and concise, giving the essay a sophisticated tone.
    Student Essay #3: 5-6
    The student begins with a strong thesis but later begins to summarize the plot in an attempt to create textual support. Although the student summmarizes plot movement, they present a greater understanding of the novel's theme compared to essay #1.This student presents a connection between "Willy's insanity" and suicide, which depicts a comprehensive analysis. However,The student's vocabulary lacks maturity.

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  21. I gave Essay #1 a 4 because it answered the prompt thoughit didn't provide enough texual support they also summarized the entire story.

    I gave Essay #2 an 8 because it fluently answered the prompt ample support for her agruement. It also had few grammatical errors.

    Essay #3 got a 3 because it didn't even answer the entire prompt, though it mention the past and its effect on the character, the student failed to connect it to the theme of the literary work.

    Tharadjyne Orisma

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